Wide Awake and Conscious
by Ms. Daryl Clarke
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Living wide awake and conscious is a goal that emanates from
my soul. I didn't listen to my soul's longing for over forty years. Now,
I simply can't or won't ignore it. If I lapse into hours or afternoons of
blindness I am only faced more dramatically with the realization that numbly
going through the motions is stifling. I crave awareness, even when it costs
me the security of my old paralyzing behaviours. What I already know has
provided me in the past with a measure of comfort. Now even that has been
lost to a new hope for a more peaceful and harmonious existence. Like all human beings I began to learn from the moment of birth. I learned the warmth of a loving touch and the joy of a brilliant smile. I learned other things too. I learned what to be afraid of and what caused pain. I developed my skills in speaking honestly and also in knowing how to hide the truth. I learned to recognize acceptance, respect, nurturing and compassion. There were also the lessons of mistrust, ridicule, loneliness and anger. Living in a conscious state means being aware of all these emotions. I am awed by my ability to quickly recognize what I am really feeling - even if I hold myself in a state of denial to avoid facing a truth. I don't have to live this way. I could ignore the urgings to awaken and explore each reaction that arises. Sometimes these feelings are easily assimilated into my life. It's the times when I have to breathe through them that makes me want to run with lightening speed in another direction. The choice to stand and be really in the moment is too powerful a pull for me to walk away from. I suspect that to resist a conscious awareness would be as difficult as it sometimes seems to embrace it. The big difference - and the strongest reason I keep following this path - is that the rewards are so empowering. Each time I stop, listen and understand, I move forward in my life. Then something synchronistic always happens to give me a sign that I am where I am meant to be. So shadows or rainbows - come forth. I am ready, awake and willing. (Ms.) Daryl Clarke has expressed herself creatively since birth through music, art and words. Her work has been published in newspapers and periodicals throughout North America. Co-founder of The Healing Rock Retreat on the shores of Lake Huron in Tobermory, Ontario, she is working on several non-fiction books and offering a safe haven for people on a spiritual journey. Her web site www.spiritedwoman.com.
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