We have all heard the protests and cries from those miniature human beings entrusted to us by our creator. We know nothing is ever fair, and that we don’t really love our kids. They constantly remind us of this. From the perspective of being a parent in today’s society we know we are trying to raise well-mannered civilized responsible adults. They see our limits and boundaries as fences and chains put in place to keep them from following natural instincts. We know we are teaching them the rules of survival in out society and are also concerned for their safety. We will never see eye to eye with them about this. Oh well that is the price we pay for the privilege of being the Mom.

On a spiritual level it is a slightly different situation. Many of us recognize that we are here by choice, and that we have agreed to have this human experience, with all the pain and tears as well as love and happiness. The people we share this experience with have been with us for a long time, many lifetimes in fact. We agreed to share the experience again and again, each time playing a different role. Sometimes we are the children and sometimes we are the parents.
Have you ever thought you child was very much the same nature as a parent or sibling that has passed? That idea is not at all crazy, very possible in fact. Think about this, the child driving you to pull out you own hair by the root, may be the same soul that was you mother in a previous incarnation learning what it is to be child in similar situation as what she fought you understand as a parent.

Interesting concept huh? Well it doesn’t change how we deal with them as parents. We still have the same responsibilities as before, we still have to care for them and help them mature. We still have to be the mom, this time we have the opportunity to do things differently than we experienced, and to help them see a better way of doing things.

We have made progress. Gone are the days of spanking, and hickory switches. Trips to the woodshed are history, left to bad memories of an older generation. No longer do we threaten our kids with the dreaded mantra of “wait until your father gets home”. We take responsibility for the discipline of our kids, not hesitating to take an errant child to task for less than appropriate conduct. We demand respect as parents and in return we extend respect to our children, validating them as individuals and human beings.

We empower them to make decisions rather than telling them what to do and how to do it and when. We ask their opinions and thoughts and they matter to us even if it doesn’t really suit the situation.

We talk to our kids; we talk about sex and drugs, openly with no shame. Remember the little talks we had as adolescent girls, with the pamphlet from the blue flowered box. It was our introduction to sex and reproduction, there wasn’t much useful to it, but it was the best our mothers had to offer based on their own experiences. Now we discuss safe sex and birth control at the dinner table in mixed company. Our sons are included and taught they have an equal responsibility. Times are changing, the definition of being the mom has evolved, and it still has many of the same connotations, but now carries more weight.

I used to hate the dreaded answer I got when I asked why I was being subjected to something I felt unfair and unreasonable. “Because I am you mother!” Now I utter those words with pride, having a deeper understanding of what it really means. I look forward to hearing my daughters utter these very words, because I am the MOM!!!!

Biography

Jessica Bougher is the author of The Empath's Pocket Survival Guide, the mother of 9 year old twin girls and the founder and manager of two online spiritual communities.

© 2001 Printed with the author's permission.  Previous publication at Omplace.com and The Light Express