 Please
Forgive Me(excerpt from The Key) by Joe Vitale
–Howard Thurman
Maybe you didn’t forgive the other person. Maybe you didn’t forgive yourself. It doesn’t matter. Holding on to past emotions, memories, or stories is guaranteed to tie up your energy and block your ability to attract what you want.
What you have to do now is forgive.
I used to struggle with this one. I was afraid that if I forgave someone, I would not learn the lesson they gave me and I would be suckered again. But as I looked at that belief, I realized it was just that: a belief. It wasn’t reality. It wasn’t factual. It wasn’t true.
I remember when a client owed me a great deal of money. He wasn’t paying, and it was clear he was going to rob me of what was due to me. In those days my mind-set was still that of a victim. I thought my client, and much of the world, was out to get me. I had read so many books about robber barons in history, and about survival of the fittest, that I felt unless I became greedy and cutthroat in business, I’d always fail. However, I refused to become something I didn’t like. I refused to become one of “them.” So I lived with my pain and resentment.
Of course, the only person this hurt was me. The client who owed me money never felt my pain. I have no idea if he felt anything at all. So my holding a grudge kept only one person down: me.
As I began to read self-help books, I began to realize that I could let go of my resentment. I could forgive my client. I could forgive myself.
I did just that. And — you probably guessed it — my client surfaced and paid me the money he owed me. But I didn’t forgive in order to collect the money. I forgave and forgot and let it go.
But let’s look at this more closely so you understand forgiveness and the power of it as a clearing method.
Forgiving another person is, in part, an ego trip. When you say “I forgive you” to someone, you are saying you had some sort of hold over them. You were the King or Queen, and by the “I forgive you” decree you could pronounce them “free” of your resentment. That’s not forgiveness. It may even be a form of manipulation.
What’s more powerful is to say “I’m sorry” to the people you hurt. If you’ve never seen the television show My Name Is Earl, watch it sometime. It’s about a petty thief who awakens to the idea that if he does good things, good things happen. He makes a list of everyone he ever hurt in his life. He then works to do something to erase his wrong.
A couple of decades ago I did something similar. I made a list of people I felt I had hurt. I then went to them and paid them money if I owed it, returned tools or objects if I had walked off with them, and told them I was sorry for my behavior. I did my best to make peace with my past. It was a wonderful feeling.
I also know there is a level of forgiveness beyond being forgiven by others or forgiving others. The forgiveness that becomes one of the most powerful clearing methods you can use in an instant is the one where you forgive yourself.
It’s your perception of a situation or person that is an error. It’s not the other person. Yes, they may have done something you prefer they hadn’t done.
But it’s your judgment of them that causes the friction. When you let go of your judgment, you free yourself. And often, when you free yourself, the other person does what you wanted all along. But your motivation has to come from forgiveness of you.
Copyright © 2008 by Hypnotic Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved. Joe Vitale is President of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc., an Internet marketing consulting firm, and one of the stars of the hit movie, The Secret. He has been called "The Buddha of the Internet" for his combination of spirituality and marketing acumen. His other books include The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits, and Life's Missing Instruction Manual, all from Wiley. For more information on Joe Vitale, visit www.MrFire.com. |
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